Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
