2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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