please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
