i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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