so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize