We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He has the fingertips of a God
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