that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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