Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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