kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I just sharted jello shots
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