So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
