I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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