was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
