someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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