i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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