Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
