Christians are straight up FREAKS
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
