I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
