Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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