So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
