I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
