possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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