Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
