none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
