so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
