he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
