Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
