Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
