i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
