Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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