I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
