I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
