hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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