At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
