She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
