Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
