so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
