Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
