last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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