i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
