Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
