god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
