Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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