That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize