The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize