His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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