Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
