My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
