Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
