youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
