Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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