Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize