chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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