Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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